


in the having

by siehn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27643937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siehn/pseuds/siehn
Summary: So, here Dean is, leaning against his car, his dead heart beating a thousand miles a minute before he takes a breath and lets it out, drops his head and prays.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	in the having

**Author's Note:**

> I...am choosing to believe Cas is in Heaven and they find each other and live eternally together. 
> 
> Look my dudes, I had to write this to be okay. Doesn't mean I remotely support the garbage.

Dean parks on the side of a long, familiar dirt road and gets out to lean against the side of the car. He takes one breath, then another, lets himself feel, really feel, for what seems like the first time in a very long time.

He died.

He’s…Strangely okay with that. It’s almost a relief, really. He hopes Sammy lives a long, happy life, that he calls Eileen and gets married and gets to do everything he never could before.

It was never really on the cards for Dean.

But something else might be, maybe, if he can get his shit together.

\------------------------

_Well, Bobby says, all raised eyebrows and knowing looks and mischief curling at the corners of his lips, Cas helped._

_For a second, Dean can’t breathe. Cas helped, Cas was –_

_Was-_

_He around? Dean asks, failing at casual when his voice cracks._

_Oh, he’ll be along, Bobby tells him, grinning._

_\------------------------_

So, here Dean is, leaning against his car, his dead heart beating a thousand miles a minute before he takes a breath and lets it out, drops his head and prays.

“Hey, Cas, you around?”

The soft _whoosh_ of angel wings is like an old, familiar lullaby he hasn’t heard in a long time.

“Hello Dean,” Cas says, and Dean’s breath comes out nearly a sob as he looks up, meeting electric blue and a soft smile – an angel in a rumpled trenchcoat and a crooked tie and everything Dean has ever wanted.

“Would’a called you sooner, but I didn’t know you were—”

Cas looks sheepish.

“You had a lot of people to see,” he offers, “I wanted to give you time. I could wait.”

“Cas,” Dean starts, stops, then, “Castiel.”

Cas looks up at him, wide-eyed. He’s only a few feet away; Dean pushes off from the car and steps towards him.

“Seems like that’s all you been doin’, waitin’ on my sorry ass,” he says, and Cas opens his mouth to protest, but Dean stops in front of him, close enough to touch.

“You don’t have to-“

“I kinda do,” he interrupts, shaking his head. He can’t help but smile, just a little. Figures, it’d take both of ‘em dying to get here. “You were wrong, man; of course I love you. I’ve loved you for years,” he stops, swallows, huffs a little. “You’re it for me, man.”

Cas is staring at him. He is, thankfully, used to that.

“I didn’t know how to – I didn’t know if you really…Which means we’re both just-”

“A couple of dumbasses?” Cas asks, the start of a smile on his face and Dean laughs.

“Maybe,” he agrees, reaching out to palm the sides of Cas’s face, something like wonder building in his gut. “That thing you want, you can have it.” He glances down, gets caught on Cas’s lips for a second and has to remember how to breathe. There’s probably a joke or two in there, about having to die before he confronts his feelings, but well.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas says, his name like a benediction, like something divine. Cas has always made him feel more holy than he has any right to.

“C’mere,” Dean mutters, but it’s Cas who draws him in, reaching out to fist one hand in Dean’s shirt, the other gripping his shoulder, right over where his handprint has now sat twice.

The meet somewhere in the middle in a surprisingly soft kiss, none of the desperation Dean expected when he allowed himself to think of this. It lasts an eternity and passes too fast and Cas’s eyes are full of wonder when Dean opens his to meet them, laughing as he rests his forehead against Cas’s.

“You’re worth it you know,” Cas tells him, “the waiting. You’ve always been worth it.”

Dean flushes but holds his gaze. “Yeah well, no more waiting, right? Isn’t that what this whole Heaven thing is supposed to be about now? Peace and freedom for eternity, or whatever?”

“You’re saying you want to spend eternity with me?”

“Yeah, dumbass, obviously,” he rolls his eyes, but they’re both grinning. He reaches up to thumb away the tears on Cas’s face and kisses him again just because he can. “What do you want?”

“You,” Cas answers, distracted, running one hand back through Dean’s hair, fascinated by being allowed to _touch_. “Just you.”

“Well, you have me, Cas.”

One salty ex-hunter, an angel with too much heart, and all of eternity to figure out that happiness can be in the having, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Now I'm gonna completely reject canon and write my own ending. Stay Tuned.


End file.
